How do you text a girl you want to approach without feeling stupid?
Texting a girl needs a strategy. You don’t want to appear needy, and you don’t want to seem too eager either.
Whether you’ve just exchanged numbers or you’ve already been on a date, you want to make sure you’re building a connection.
So, how do you text a girl to pique her interest?
We’ll break that down for you today so you’re in no element of doubt.
Everything needs to start from a solid foundation of understanding what it is that women actually want…
Understand What Women Want
You’ll feel much more confident texting a woman if you truly understand how a woman’s mind works.
Women like a man who takes control, someone who is direct, yet someone who still listens to her. Women also love consistency, but they don’t appreciate a man who interrogates her, or goes overboard with compliments. Neither extreme goes down well.
The trick, then, is to strike a balance.
You want to create intrigue and curiosity. But, you also want to make her feel heard and valued.
When you’ve exchanged numbers with a girl, you have a tailor-made in if you want to ask her on a date. The trick is to pique her curiosity and make her want to hook up.
To create interest, give her something to laugh about, something to remember you by.
Make that girl smile, show her your humor and caring nature with a funny text or meme. Be light-hearted without going over the top.
When you exchange numbers with a girl, you create a connection between you both. This is your opportunity to arrange a date.
Organize to speak on the phone. Try cutting to the chase with, “Hey, do you want to chat later?”
When you call her later, ask her out.
Send her a follow-up text saying, “Hey, fancy meeting for coffee or dinner?” Use texts as a way to ask her out but avoid lengthy text marathons. Keep it brief and save the conversation for when you meet up.
Once you’ve arranged a date, check-in with her from time to time. Don’t go completely silent until the date. She will start to wonder if you’re messing her around. This is no time for games.
Send her fun messages from time to time. Make her laugh or smile. Show her consistency…
Girls might think you’re a bit strange if you’re planning to go on a date together, but you haven’t sent her a message all week. It makes you appear inconsistent. This is not an attractive quality for a woman who, beneath it all, is seeking a stable partner. High-value women are attracted to consistency.
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to text her around the clock. Quite the reverse. An occasional check-in is all that’s required. Let her know you are making time within your busy schedule to send her a little message. That alone makes a powerful statement.
Now, we mentioned brevity already. A few more words now about keeping your texts brief and on-point…
Keep It Brief
As soon as you get a girl’s number, send her a message and say, “Now we’ve exchanged numbers, let’s get to know each other.”
This works a treat, just try it. As soon as you have a girl’s number, do this. There’s absolutely nothing to lose.
Next, when you get a reply, have a short and light-hearted conversation then close. The next day, check-in with her and ask how her day is going. Send her a funny meme or photo. Just check-in. Show her you are thinking of her.
Again, when she replies, have a short and light conversation. Close with something like, “Right, must get back to work now, have a lovely day,” or something like that.
Don’t keep bombarding her with questions. Keep the interaction light-hearted and brief.
So far, so good.
How about when you’ve actually hooked up for the first time? Where should texting go from here?
After The First Date
So, you’ve had a great first date with a woman. One thing you need to understand is that women hate the 3-day text rule. They detest it.
If you’ve had a fantastic date with a woman, then, do not wait for three days. Instead, text her the following day as common courtesy would dictate. Send her a message specific to the date and tell her what a great time you had.
Don’t comment on how beautiful she is, or how much you love her hair. The most powerful thing you can do is comment on a shared experience.
Maybe she shared something about her life, something she has been through? If she did, send her a message thanking her for sharing this with you.
This is a much more effective strategy than reflexively commenting on her looks just like every other guy before you did.
Phrase it like this: “Thanks for a great night, really had fun. Also, thank you for sharing your story with me.”
If you can show some empathy, that’s even more potent. You could also add something like, “That must have been really tough,” or “You’ve obviously worked hard to get where you are now.”
Compliment her on something she has worked for rather than on her physical appearance.
The reason this approach works is that it shows her you are listening to her. This will make you stand out from all the other guys.
Women want to feel protected. Emotionally and physically. And when you show her that you listen to her and empathize with her, she will feel naturally protected. When you show a girl that you listen to her, she’s sure to sit up and take notice. The reason for this is simple: she feels safe.
Seriously, this approach works.
What doesn’t work, though? Ultimately, knowing what not to text is just as vital as knowing what you should say to a girl you like…
What NOT To Text
When texting a girl remember these 3 things to avoid:
- Being Negative
- Excessive Directness
- Being Dirty
Don’t give her a rundown of what a terrible day you’ve had and all the negative things happening in your life. This is a huge turn-off.
Don’t tell her your life story through text messages, either. Don’t send her a whole page about what you did today or what you had for lunch. Keep it succinct. Perhaps most importantly, keep it light.
Whatever you do, don’t send angry messages!
If she’s not responding, the last thing that will get her to text you back is an angry tirade. This simply demonstrates immaturity and it’s sure to repel her.
Avoid sending her too many lovey-dovey messages like, “You’re so beautiful, I can’t wait to meet you.” If you’re too full-on in the beginning, it tends to get played out. In short order, these compliments will carry no weight.
Every now and again, wait a while before replying. You want to increase her curiosity. A guy who consistently responds instantly appears needy. Create mystique and intrigue by backing off a little.
Avoid getting sexual. If she engages sexually over text with you, consider it game on.
Just because you may have been out on a couple of dates doesn’t mean you should ask her to send you a sexy pic, though.
It’s a shame we need to mention this, but don’t send dick pics. So many men do this, but they don’t realize they come across like scumbags. This does not turn a woman on. Skip the dick picks and do everyone a favour, yourself included.
What If You Don’t Like Texting?
Many people don’t like to text. If this sounds like you then tell her, “I don’t really like texting. I’d much rather speak or meet face-to-face.” Warn her that you are this type of person.
If you have any thoughts about how to text a girl, feel free to share them with us.
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